There are quite a few movies and songs that have inspired me in my life thus far, and one that stands out is Good Will Hunting. Through the tides of change in our lives, these various movies or songs stand out and become more meaningful to shed some light on the darkness that can shadow over us during difficult times. One thing I've started to truly understand with this though, is that the sun will come out again, and is close behind the clouds that can prevent the glorious feeling that the sunshine brings to us on these favorite beautiful days.
Though we walk through the shadows, on these cloudy days, we hold onto the good memories and feelings that these past sunny days brought to us. I have recently decided to personally venture out into the world to better understand how many different people struggling in various hardships in their lives feel. The ambition to become an established writer and advocate has stayed with me through this period of trials and tribulation.
Although I have not yet decided in which direction to take my ambition and passion, I still stand firmly assured inside that I will find a way to get there when the time is right. Fear of change has always been a challenge to me, but life without challenges would be unmotivating. For it is through challenge and motivation that we accomplish out dreams and goals, and the hurdles we jump over along the way can push us in the certain direction that gets us to where we are striving to be.
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
My personal mission towards obtaining proper justice and expanding human compassion
I continue to ponder about my actions to seek justice in the past through what I had thought to be my personal right as freedom of speech. It was never my intention to do so through ways that appeared showing my personal character as disrespectful. I feel I've come a long way with strengthening my past personal weaknesses through understanding myself, others, and the world better.
I sat scratching my head over and over again, trying to put the pieces together. It felt to me like the feeling one gets trying to complete a 5000 piece jig saw puzzle., when there are a few remaining chunks of the puzzle left to finish before achieving the gratification that finishing such a complex puzzle can bring on to one self. How did my life take such a strong turn for the worse? I would continuously ask myself. Then one day, the light bulb electrifies and the light shines on again. Out of the darkness completely for good I am seeing as the main solution to my past and present struggles.
Ive realized it's like cultivating a thriving healthy plant by giving it the proper warmth, sunlight, oxygen, and nourishment it seems. Unless a plant receives such, especially a sensitive plant or flower like an orchid, it will only deteriorate and fall apart. Well, I am like that orchid flower, and after the birth of my second child, I neglected to take care of myself in ways I was carrying on about to others for quite awhile. By others I'm referring to past co workers, family, friends, and healthcare professionals. I seemed to have acted out of desperation to stay alive, and once one goes into survival mode, the fight or flight response kicks on for sure I know see so clearly. The sensing of something feeling so wrong and off, kicked my mind into overdrive and I had never in my life felt do threatened in a way I couldn't put my fingers on.
Things are slowly coming together now, but that does not by any means put an end to my quest towards gaining further insight and knowledge on the injustice I feel was wrongly thrown my way in the past. So it is my deepest passion now, to do some good will hunting and attempt to help future generations of growing kids that are gifted and special in ways that I've realized now I can see myself as, verses cursed or imperfect. The misunderstood woman I was in the past has started to blossom into a beautifully flower that will be rightfully admired and the hard work that has been put into getting myself here will never be forgotten. I believe in karma and I'm the type of individual that has gotten her hard of both bad and good karma thus far. I've tried in ways that were outside the box, to be understood and heard I realize, but until someone has walked in the very same shoes, it is impossible to truly know with firm understanding and validity, as to the extent of past emotional pain and suffering that I survived and persevered. My biggest desire, when all is said and done, is to make a positive difference in the world and leave a big mark in the world that most people look at with honor and respect for my good cause towards raising awareness to help others better themselves and not lose hope in the good will of mankind. That is my biggest wish of all, and one that I feel should hold high precedence for the future of our world to perish again. After all, it surely is possible when I think back to the significant events in history that our planet has survived. Our ancestors stayed strong through past devastations, and came together in various ways to get through those tough times. The biggest factor that got things right again seemed to be their adaptability and evolution of their bodies and mind, which then led to people gaining better insight and knowledge to change things that were no longer working. This is where I feel we can relate and do the same in our modern world. Our minds are indeed expanding rapidly these days, but lets not fail to underestimate the beauty in this growth and expansion. Fear often hold us back from certain decisions, and after the long road I've been walking on for some time, I'm starting to understand where tho instinct is good and bad, helpful verse hurtful. I see good change ahead, but just as Rome wasn't built in a day, we won't see the positive changes right away. Instant gratification is a hard bad habit to move past, but I personally feel doing so will be the catalyst to yielding a better and brighter future and in sync society. Stay strong and carry on is the motto on my mind today.
I sat scratching my head over and over again, trying to put the pieces together. It felt to me like the feeling one gets trying to complete a 5000 piece jig saw puzzle., when there are a few remaining chunks of the puzzle left to finish before achieving the gratification that finishing such a complex puzzle can bring on to one self. How did my life take such a strong turn for the worse? I would continuously ask myself. Then one day, the light bulb electrifies and the light shines on again. Out of the darkness completely for good I am seeing as the main solution to my past and present struggles.
Ive realized it's like cultivating a thriving healthy plant by giving it the proper warmth, sunlight, oxygen, and nourishment it seems. Unless a plant receives such, especially a sensitive plant or flower like an orchid, it will only deteriorate and fall apart. Well, I am like that orchid flower, and after the birth of my second child, I neglected to take care of myself in ways I was carrying on about to others for quite awhile. By others I'm referring to past co workers, family, friends, and healthcare professionals. I seemed to have acted out of desperation to stay alive, and once one goes into survival mode, the fight or flight response kicks on for sure I know see so clearly. The sensing of something feeling so wrong and off, kicked my mind into overdrive and I had never in my life felt do threatened in a way I couldn't put my fingers on.
Things are slowly coming together now, but that does not by any means put an end to my quest towards gaining further insight and knowledge on the injustice I feel was wrongly thrown my way in the past. So it is my deepest passion now, to do some good will hunting and attempt to help future generations of growing kids that are gifted and special in ways that I've realized now I can see myself as, verses cursed or imperfect. The misunderstood woman I was in the past has started to blossom into a beautifully flower that will be rightfully admired and the hard work that has been put into getting myself here will never be forgotten. I believe in karma and I'm the type of individual that has gotten her hard of both bad and good karma thus far. I've tried in ways that were outside the box, to be understood and heard I realize, but until someone has walked in the very same shoes, it is impossible to truly know with firm understanding and validity, as to the extent of past emotional pain and suffering that I survived and persevered. My biggest desire, when all is said and done, is to make a positive difference in the world and leave a big mark in the world that most people look at with honor and respect for my good cause towards raising awareness to help others better themselves and not lose hope in the good will of mankind. That is my biggest wish of all, and one that I feel should hold high precedence for the future of our world to perish again. After all, it surely is possible when I think back to the significant events in history that our planet has survived. Our ancestors stayed strong through past devastations, and came together in various ways to get through those tough times. The biggest factor that got things right again seemed to be their adaptability and evolution of their bodies and mind, which then led to people gaining better insight and knowledge to change things that were no longer working. This is where I feel we can relate and do the same in our modern world. Our minds are indeed expanding rapidly these days, but lets not fail to underestimate the beauty in this growth and expansion. Fear often hold us back from certain decisions, and after the long road I've been walking on for some time, I'm starting to understand where tho instinct is good and bad, helpful verse hurtful. I see good change ahead, but just as Rome wasn't built in a day, we won't see the positive changes right away. Instant gratification is a hard bad habit to move past, but I personally feel doing so will be the catalyst to yielding a better and brighter future and in sync society. Stay strong and carry on is the motto on my mind today.
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